Wednesday, April 15, 2009

You know you're getting married in three days when...

  • every song you hear on the radio is promptly written down on the "remember to play at the reception list"
  • you have your mom spray-painting an amazing amount of wicker baskets every night in the back yard
  • you and your fiance have lengthy discussions about whether the glasses in your cabinets should face up or down -- do you risk getting dust into the cups, or take a chance on having your lips theoretically touch the cabinet surface?
  • you have a list for your lists
  • you have become (unfortunately) unresponsive to all communication except if it is a wedding-related emergency
  • your once meticulous categorical packing and box labeling turns into "tank tops and figurines"
  • you don't wear your tennis shoes to move because you've already packed them for the honeymoon and you just can't fathom pulling them out of your suitcase, which seems like it is the one thing that's ready to go
  • writing thank you notes becomes your "sweet release" from the madness
  • you realize you can fit more into a Mazda RX-8 than most people could fit into a moving van
  • you feel a constant burn in your thighs from moving to a third floor apartment, which seemed like a really good idea when you signed the lease
  • your parents dining room table has been transformed into a "wedding war zone" covered in bubbles, lace, blue ribbons, bows, etc.
  • you are tempted to wear your wedding dress around the house each day because the thought of only wearing it once is seriously depressing
  • you vow that for the rest of your life you will RSVP as soon as you receive any invitation. Seriously, ever.
  • for the next two days, you will have relatives of some sort in the airport almost constantly
  • you think that your bridesmaids are superheroes
  • the song "Going to the Chapel" has become unnecessarily irritating
  • you wonder if your charge card is going to burst into flames if you use it one more time
  • you finally understand what the term "Bridezilla" means when your reception venue tells you that they don't have white linens, even though that's not what they told you a month ago
  • you listen to the song "All the Single Ladies" on an almost non-stop loop because you know that you will feel strangely odd about dancing to it after the wedding
  • you start counting how many times people ask you "so when are you going to have kids?" even though you are not even married yet!
  • the only time you get on facebook is for work
  • your grandmother professes that she is "best friends with the FedEx man"
Happy Almost Wedding to Us!